Bilba! the New Zumba

coolCousin ROCKS HARDCORE and completes her first marathon!!!

Vows (as they always do) to never do it again! Hopefully details will follow.

Bilba!

Yesterday I managed to squeeze in Zumba, alas I was a solo male swimming in a sea of estrogen. I suspect IronMan was napping and could not be disturbed.

Bubbles, who's the poster child for Zumba addiction, was running late since doing about six different Operation Feed things at once along with her regular job nearly set off a riot. The ladies were milling around with increasing impatience when feistyGirl blurts out, "Where's Bubbles?!" and calls the PBX so that they could check the security cameras and get a location. The ladies begin muttering amongst themselves, the onset of Zumba withdrawal imminent!

I recognize the symptoms and let me tell you Zumba withdrawal is a terrifying thing to behold! Being a low level line manager I decided to step in and muddy the waters. It's what I'm paid to do. I'm good at it.

Suggesting I lead the class, fiestyGirl had propped a garbage can in the door to the gym so that she could roam the hallways in search of Bubbles. I removed it, locking that little trouble maker out and dashed to the front of the class. Thinking frantically I invent Bilba! a new exercise craze, on the spot.

"Perform The Willow!" I call out. One group of women put down their chairs, clubs and rakes while another group stopped trying to set the stereo on fire. They stare at me blankly, I have their attention.

I thrust my arms in the air like I'm being held up a gun point and begin frantically wiggling my fingers before swaying left to right like a drunk cobra. Giggling, the ladies follow suit, raising their arms and wiggling their fingers releasing a flood of endorphins from their finger tips (few know this is where endorphins are stored which is why people with hooks are so cranky and turn to a life of piracy) allowing it to flow down their arms into their riot filled minds. The swaying motion increases the endorpho-pumping action.

I lead them through the Shake Your Martini Faster, Faster!, The Geek at the Prom and am running out of ideas trying Wax On, Wax Off the Forty Year Old Virgin version in desperation. Inventing exercise crazes is HARD! Someone had let feistyGirl back into the room and she definitely wasn't buying into the Bilba! mania.

Storm clouds were reforming when Bubbles burst into the room. She intuitively recognizes the near crises, heads straight for the stereo and puts on Zumba music. Removing her warm-up jacket she starts dancing, assuming her rightful leadership role. I put the TV I was about to hurl through the mirrors down (look, I'm only human!) and assume my out of whack behind the class position.

Bubbles is in full Zumba regalia, cargo pants and some sort of Zumba wife-beater T that had something Zumba-ish printed on the back that I couldn't read because she was too wiggly. I focus on her feet making sure I was out of step and off beat.

Bubbles works us hard and fast rapidly calming us down through the age old technique of exhaustion and confusion. My wife is keeping up along with others. I still Suck with a capital 'S' but you know what? This is my forth Zumba class or so...

It's still so much fun!

The karateKid is over in the corner kinda trying the moves but mostly watching. qualityGirl and I are giving him static, "No watching! Do it or get back in the lockers until Karate starts!" When I was getting dressed I overhear him saying to the other karate folk, "That course looks fun, we should try it sometime!" and some other guy saying he doesn't want to get that sweaty during business hours, or something like that.

DUDE!

Anyway, Bubbles might have another convert on her hands.

Body Fuzion

TomS sent me the following email with the latest research from his mysterious laboratories:

Bill,

You have been working out really hard now for over 100 days. I thought it might be time step up to a more advanced workout.

Since you have shown an open mind with Zumba, I think you will be open to expanding your diverse workout regimen by pushing the envelope with this routine.

You are ready. I know you can do it.

Check it out:


TomS

I had difficulty focusing, your mileage may vary.

Commute Dry Run

Today I cut the grass, watched my daughter play soccer, sent my son on some Boy Scout eighteen mile round trip death march and then decided to do a dry run of my bike commute into work. In a fit of mongoloid reasoning I also decided to see if I could use an 18 inch X 18 inch Shamwow for a towel. All in the name of exercise research. All for you, gentle reader.

I prep the bike, seeing what I could fit in the 'trunk.' I get in a pair of gym shorts, a t-shirt, socks, undies, the shamwow, and that's about it. I had a little bit of room but not a lot, I could have gotten in a wallet, iPod, that sort of stuff, so it's not crammed. I wont need the panniers until Monday and I'm trying not to think about that weight.


The ride in brings back memories. The only thing of notice was when I was going over Le Alp de Overpass there's a bad bump in the bike path that caused my rear blinky to pop off the bike. When I ride in the mornings I look like a UFO all blinking and shiny. If I ever get hit it's NOT because they didn't see me.

When I reach the gym I'm sweating, just like when I can tell I'm warm during an aerobic workout, the ride in took about sixteen minutes. My company, thankfully, has designed the grounds so that no matter what your direction you in a strong headwind, enhancing your workout. Today is very windy.

I change and head out in the gym and choose to do an additional thirty minutes on recombinant ::rolls eyes at myself:: I shoot the breeze with another dude in there learning about protein powder. When my time is up I'm sweaty and hot and ready for a shower.

The Shamwow Experiment

When you get right down to it an 18 by 18 shamwow is pretty darned small. It also smells funny.

Super.

I feel vulnerable trying to stay covered up with the silly thing. That's a lost cause. Still I'm glad the gym isn't packed though I've been known to stroll around the locker room like I own the place.

I take my shower and then dry with the Shamwow. It works! Go figure. I manage to get dry with the thing but when I try and wring it out like the dude in the commercial I get nada. So my plan of wrapping my sweating clothes in it to help them wick dry is a non starter. The shamwow was very damp.

I pack up and ride home. The metrics, even though I wasn't 'pushing it' are pretty good I think. The heart chart indicates a spiky interval with an average HR of 65-70% so the commute to and from work should provide a nice little workout in and of itself. This was my route:

It's been a great day but I'm super tired (I did a few other things I wont bore on about). Have a great weekend!