"A wretched puree of assorted vegetables," my son's latest description of V8, a concoction he has yet to actually imbibe. I'm harboring similar thoughts about gulping down olive oil but what separates my son and I is that I'm compelled to do it; otherwise how will I know? Not only that but I have to do it for awhile if the vaunted medicinal value is to kick in. I wonder what my coworkers will make of me sitting at my desk, a hardened project manager, knocking back olive oil.The dame entered my office appearing confident and poised. She looked like trouble of the worst kind. Beautiful, smart and deadly.
"Can I help you shister?" my recent tangle with QA having left me with a slight speech impediment.
"Only you can help!" she blurts out before sobbing into her hands.
"What'sh the problem?" I ask, my hand hesitating over the gat I keep in my drawer before grabbing my pal, Les Bouteilles, by the neck. I'm certain I'm going to need a stiff one if I'm going to have to listen to this noise.
I splash it into a dirty glass deciding she didn't look like a serious drinker and slam it back, savoring it's "smooth taste of fresh grass — ending with assertive, peppery bite" that only a true connoisseur such as myself could enjoy. I grimace with pleasure.
I stare at her with the cold, dead eyes of the project manager, "Tell me about it."
"I have this feature that wasn't part of the project scope... but I'm certain it wont... did you just swallow a glass of olive oil?"
Hands shaking as I feel the first heady rush of extra virginy goodness come on I deadpan, "No." while fighting to keep down a satisfied burp.
I mean who doesn't want to live a life like that? So, I have to know all I can know about exercise and olive oil and everything from rack runs to fun runs.
Apparently awesomeGirl wants to walk the slippery walk. She's actually ordered from the library the Shangri-la diet book. She has that quiet hope in her eyes that makes me honestly hope this works for her, she's tired of feeling endlessly hungry. Perhaps tireTosser can provide guidance.
Me? I'll cowboy up on 30 March 09, 'k?
Today I learned about the Beat It workout which sadly has nothing to do with self-gratification. It's a race with yourself and the rules are straightforward.
- Choose a cardio machine that does distance. (e.g. bike/stair climber)
- Warm up for five minutes easy.
- Then bike/stair for .25 mile fast and note the time it took you
- Then bike/stair for another .25 mile fast and beat your time by five to ten seconds (increase the level (stair climber) or rpms (bike))
- Follow that with a lower level for one minute
- Then bike/stair for .25 mile fast and note the time it took you
- Then bike/stair for another .25 mile fast and beat your time by five to ten seconds (increase the level (stair climber) or rpms (bike))
- Vomit when done.
I chose the upright bike and started doing the five minute warm-up. Bubbles just sent me some interesting info on warm-ups/stretching and I'll put it at the end of this post. Executive version: do it, a lot. YES ALL OF IT!
IronMan plops down next to me on the other upright and I explain to him the routine. He tells me how to take the bike out of 'scan' and keep it on miles. I have my handy dandy Garmin with me which has a lap function that I'll use to mark the time, I plan to BoyScout (do my best) so I'm not too interested in how I did per lap. I'll check it later.
Technical issues:
On the upright you have to pick a level high enough that when you're sprinting you don't end up freewheeling (no resistance) but not so high (IMO) that you crush your thighs right off the bat, for me this feels like a low to medium 'big ring' gear if that helps any, and on the upright was level eight.
Second issue: as you come off your first sprint you have a brief down time waiting for the odometer to cycle to a number you can do math on. So for example, how far to do you have to go if the odometer says 2.80? 3.05 of course but try doing that when you're heaving for breath and increasingly anaerobic!
Third issue: I was initially concerned that .25 miles wasn't long enough on the bike, with the warm up (five minutes) and the cool down (five minutes) it took about fifteen minutes. Is that good enough? Is that the intent? Is there an overall time that one should do?
After I was done with the four sprints I looked at IronMan and covered in sweat, gasping for breath said, "A quarter mile is just fine." As far as an interval workout, this is intense! I was initially confused by my heart chart when I saw only two spikes and then realized the first spike is the first TWO sprints, the second spike is the last two sprints. 163 is a new max HR for me BTW!
The endorphin rush is almost immediate but as I walked around the gym my body said MORE. I needed to sweat today, the kind of sweat that soaks your shirt and rolls into your eyes. I'm weird, shoot me :-) I set up an interval workout on the recumbinant for twenty five minutes and try and hammer it. I think each low/high interval was two minutes but when I hit a 'hill' I tried to hammer it hard. During recuperation I pondered the Beat It workout.
I think I'll do one of two things next time I try it, either increase the distance or do more of them and try for fifteen or twenty minutes of 'work' - Bubbles (or anyone) your thoughts?
As far as the workout itself, it is intense, fun and worth it. I came off it goofy and anaerobic. I've heard from lanceArmstrong that you want to do occasional anaerobic work if you want to move up from a plateau.
If you look at the heart chart you'll see about minute forty where I miss a peak. This is because Bubbles is voicing her disappointment that I didn't make Zumba last night. She misinterpreted my 'Coming This Week' sidebar. I could use some feedback on that. It's meant to be things that I'm aware of that strike me as fun but that I'm not necessarily going to do. The only requirement is that I don't think I can make it huge - if you want that PLEASE grab one of the gym calendars. What I was trying to call attention to for anyone who reads this blog was that this last Wednesday Bubbles was having a 'beginners' Zumba class incase you're shy, like me. Or hate to come in the middle of the movie.
Bubbles glares around the gym and announces that there should be more men at the Zumba class and implying rather strongly for her that we're a bunch of PANSIES for not giving it a whirl!
When she sees me dance she'll take back that statement while simultaneously screaming, "MY EYES, oh dear GOD MY EYEEESSSSSSSS!"
I start my RackRun! of Arnold presses and halfway up the first one grumpy Bubbles (kidding for the Bill impaired) busts me on them, "Bill! Form!" And then she illustrates the correct way to do them.
I kick back, "Um, NO!"
Bubbles glares and through gritted teeth says, "You had BETTER do them right!" before wheeling and storming back to her monitor.
Bill the mouse does them correctly. My suffering legendary.
After the RackRun! IronMan and poor gullible me are stoned out of our minds on endorphins and giggling approach Bubbles at her monitor. Short story, we signed up for Zumba on Wednesdays from (hopefully) 4:30-5:30PM. I still need to negotiate this with my wife but I think it's doable. We're booked for the month of April starting (appropriately) on April FOOLS day.
My suffering continued in ABS and even though I'm trying I can't discern much if any improvement. I'm whacked out on ULTRA-MEGA-TYLENOL at the moment but that didn't stop my lower back from voicing its displeasure. Bubbles showed me some planks to try and help strengthen it.
OK, I gotta wrap this up, I'm totally mutigued! Here's what Bubbles sent on warm up/stretching:
Q: Why is it important to warm up and stretch?
A: A low impact exercise, such as biking, walking, an elliptical machine, a rowing machine, etc. is the best way to warm up. There are many reasons why you should warm up and stretch before working out – the main one is injury prevention. A warmup and stretch help increase the elasticity of your muscles and connective tissues prior to putting them under stress. Increased elasticity simply means muscle and tissues are more relaxed and flexible. Running is just one example of an exercise that puts an enormous amount of stress on your body.
Working out without a warmup and raising your heart rate rapidly can cause problems also. A proper warm-up improves heart function and prepares it for the stress of exercise. The heart receives greater blood flow and oxygen with a gradual warmup.
Your muscles will actually perform better with a proper warmup and stretch as well – there is a tendency for lactic acid to build up in your muscles quicker without a warmup. Lactic acid is what you feel when you are doing an intense exercise and you feel a "burn." Warming up and stretching dissipates this lactic acid. So you can actually get more out of your workout with a proper warmup and stretch.
Have a superior day!
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