Shut Up and Get Your Ass on the Elliptical!

Once again I had difficulty sleeping (would someone PLEASE cue the violins?!), I doubt that will be a problem tonight. I was wondering how much I'd lose exercise wise during my little hiatus and it wasn't that bad, but I choose my tempo workout carefully by picking the elliptical. I was hoping to average 144bpm but that didn't happen, close but no cigar.

I enter the gym expecting the same level of frenetic activity when I left and it was a ghost town filled with unmotivated zombies. I glance in the mirror and an unmotivated zombie stared back. What is up with this noise?

I hop on the elliptical, set it for 45 minutes hoping to have enough time for a RackRun! or two before Bubbles dished out her rough justice at ABS and went. I'm listening to sucky music on the iPod (who programmed this CRAP?! Oh yeah, me) while watching sucky newscasters on the TV while humping this sucky elliptical trying to get my HR up to a level Bubbles will tolerate, or at least not give me some piteous stare.

Everything sucked! Apparently the treadmills sucked too because I had goldieLocks over on those running for about fifteen on one before moving to another one, and then another one, sampling them like so much porridge. Now he's run in about eighty marathons so I'm guessing he knows what he's doing.

Still... there was an undefined suckiness that seemed to fill the air. IronMan was pretty taciturn, so was goodMood (for goodMood anyway). awesomeGirl seemed cheerful (but then again she is awesome) and asked about the trip while Kojak stormed past her on his way to an upright, glowering at the floor.

Did I bring it back with me? Did some Dook fan infect me with their SUCK?! I bet they're working on it in their labs, the fiends!

Am I typhoid suckyBill inadvertently spreading suck throughout the gym???

Oh gawd, my fellow gym rats will find out and club me to death like a baby seal making it look like the stair climber fell on me or even worse...

I'll be SHUNNED!!! Shunned suckyBill... GROAN!

I get off the elliptical, and dash for the locker rooms to collect my thoughts.

When I come back IronMan has already left, his iron-senses detecting SUCK in the air, I'm certain. goodMood has put the dumbbells away probably figuring I'd do the noble thing and kill myself in the sauna. He helps me set up the runs.

Guess what, mmhmm, they sucked! I could only do two runs and I progressively sucked at them.

Bubbles is about but she's refusing to make eye contact, she's suspicious that I might have the SUCK I figure. I hear it's incurable. She promises retribution for my comments of last week and is just waiting till 7AM to make that happen. She giggles evilly while staring into her monitor.

ABS was a nightmare of SUCK. I did the pelvic tilts and some early crunches pretty well but then Bubbles started using the gosh darned ball and I broke. I tried a little but how the holy heck are you suppose to hold some monster ball between your ankles, legs at ninety degrees and lift your tailbone off the floor?! I know it can be done because I watched Bubbles and others do it. I lay there on the floor trying to figure it out but Bubbles had moved on to some horrible hold the ball out at forty-five degrees thing and do something else. The ball spent most of the time on the floor where it shouldn't be. I was still in it, trying, I think I did like two to the others ten or so.

Somewhere during some sitting on the ball doing crunches thing I broke.

I seriously broke.

My lower back, which happens to be on the opposite side of the muscle groups I'm suppose to be exercising, was screaming at me in agony. I sit on the ball and glance around the circle. Everyone else is humming right along it appears, getting through it.

Why can't I do this? Why is it that I'm always the only one sitting on the ball while others keep on going? Why do I suck?

Then, for the first time, a dark thought slips in like a malignancy, and I contemplate quietly picking up the ball and the mat and never coming back to ABS. It's not for me.

It was there and gone in a nanosecond but I hate the fact it was ever there!

I stare at the floor. It's up to me, we're all here battling our own type of demon, if I go no one will think less of me... well... except me.

I scrunch back on the ball and start trying more crunches. I still suck, apparently epiphanies don't help form.

I need to think on this some.

Weighing helped, I appear to have lost two more pounds.

On the way out I thank Bubbles for the ABS class, she smiles and tells me to enjoy the endorphins this afternoon.

I will, I hope you do to.

Oh! By the way, I don't think I have the SUCK, I think everyone (particularly the early risers) are struggling with the time change. Springing forward is a bitch!

Be well!