Sunday: Fun and Games

Now that I'm under a exercise routine today is my 'rest' day. My trainer said, "You can come in and do another long burn like you did on Saturday or nothing at all."

As if.

After church I told my wife that today was a rest day, time for fun and games. While idly examining my fingernails I casually mention that yesterday I did 120 beats per minute for over an hour and can do 144 for at least forty. I make eye contact and raise my eyebrows up and down lecherously.

She returns that piteous stare I've become well acquainted with ever since I, well, became hormonally aware. Women remain a wonderful mystery to me, but this is one look I can read.

She shoves my gym bag in my arms. It probably isn't a great idea playing those types of games at 12:30pm on a Sunday with both kids in the house bored and looking for stuff to do. Plenty of time to scar them later!

By the time I get to the gym I still don't know what I'll do but I had decided it would be cardio because I had this need to sweat. I think it's the rush after an OK workout that I'm becoming addicted to, the endorphin high. I didn't want to do the full hour thing because there are a bunch of 'honey dos' piling up around the house and other things that must be done. Finally I have that total body workout I had on Friday to repeat on Monday.

There are a fair number of folk there, around six. I hop on a recombinant bicycle and idly pedal waiting for the display to come on. I'm not in the mood for 'fat burner' when I notice this button called, "More workouts..."

Hmmmmm.

I go through some options like 'Heart Blowout' and 'Death by Dehydration' before finding one called 'Target Heart Rate.'

That sounds fun!

Here are the rules. You enter your age and weight and whatnot and then the machine makes some suggestions like 'Target Heart Rate 144?' and I say 'sure!' and then it asks 'how long?' and I say two minutes. Next, 'Resting Heart Rate 115?' and I reply back, 'You're the boss!' and then it asks 'How Long?' and I say two minutes. Finally is asks, 'Length of workout' and I say forty minutes.

And we're off. I'm not sure how to play but I start jacking up the level to get my heart rate up but it takes about five minutes and I'm around level 13 on the bike and just dying.

Why this game isn't fun at all!

Around minute five I hit the target heart rate and this countdown clock starts from two minutes. I hold my Heart Rate above 144 for two minutes and the machine backs off the level to get my heart rate down. When it gets to 117 or so another count down clock starts and I get two minutes of relief.

When that's done I have a handle on the game. I want to jack my HR right up there as quickly as I can so that I can get through those two minutes and stall during cool down.

I do pretty well until around minute thirty (ten minutes to go) when I decided I had played enough and I'm frantically trying to figure out how to turn the last ten minutes into a yummy cool down. It is a rest day after all.

I decide to try and hold my HR above 120 and coast out.

The prick machine is wise to me. It must have seen this maneuver before. After a bit of humming along at 120 it goes, 'close enough' and starts the timer. With about four minutes to go it drops me into a higher level which feels a lot like dropping a bike into a 'big ring' gear.

I don't wanna but after a minute or so my addled mind decides to play fair and I let the machine work its will on me. With about thirty seconds to go I hit the target HR.

During cool down I keep wondering, "What have I done?" I have my first unescorted full body workout tomorrow and I should be fresh for that. Oh well, damage done, tomorrow will tell and I'll tell you.