Saturday

This morning I awoke with an odd craving for V8. Am I pregnant... again? It's currently eight in the morning and I'm still dealing with the side effects of the maintenance drug I took yesterday. I have God's gift to headaches and I'm extremely edgy so I'm hiding in the basement like any good Unibomber would typing into my little manifesto here trying to decide if I should go to the gym now while fighting the copious quantities of Tylenol I've taken (for that upset tummy, pukey feeling that runway models strive for) or wait a bit. My shoulder's still killing me. I hate middle age but probably not as much as I'm going to hate old age if I make it that far.

I'm fighting the V8 craving with coffee and calcium enriched orange juice, but I'll succumb sooner or later, I can feel it. It's what got me into trouble in the 70s, 80s, 90s um... never mind, let's just say I'm a sucker for peer pressure and if one dude is drinking V8 then I'm not too far behind.

Already, one week into this madness and I'm considering my diet. I have NEVER considered my diet before! I think it's a reaction to the pain I'm currently feeling with all this lactic acid and stiffness. Since my overall goal is to lose weight I'm certain the remaining two working synapses I have are busily formulating the idea that if I just lose the darned weight all this exercise pain will stop. Right??!! I can't bring myself to lie to them, so I uncharacteristically keep my fat mouth shut.

I can see that the size of my cult has doubled! Welcome Pattie! I've also changed my profile pic to one that closer reflects my cult leadership responsibilities and my son is demanding credit for the whole cult idea since he mentioned that this whole blog thing sounds like a cult. I have yet to query him on exactly how he knows anything about a cult since I'm not sure I want to know.

I find it wearying being a cult leader. I need a leadership name, any ideas? Supreme Stately Gummy Bear?

Well I'm gonna go get the whole gym thing over with I guess - see if I can die in the sauna or the steam bath today. The steam bath has been giving me come hither stares and batting its eyes recently.

Spent 42 minutes on the bike, including the two minute cool down - oh yes I count that - striving to keep in zone 3.5 with a heart rate around 125 - I did pretty well hanging out in that zone for about 35 minutes. Here's the graph:



I set the sauna to 'simmer' and head in there. Immediately I'm bitter, it appears that the People magazine has self-immolated and now I shall never know the outcome of the Brad-Angelina-Jen tiff. I sulk for about fifteen minutes before showering and dropping by the library for a book my wife reserved. I have no identification but the suspicious librarian, after performing a retinal scan on me, allows the transaction to occur.

Tomorrow will be my work dry-run since Monday I must once again hop on the gerbil wheel and resume my employment. I'm nervous about that but will blog about it later.

For all my bitching and moaning about this I might as well let the endorphins speak and let you know of some of the benefits I'm starting to feel...

Come ON endorphins!

• I feel less need for afternoon naps but I still quite enjoy them.
• I sleep like a rock at night.
• I'm oddly enjoying this little trek into masochism.
• I appear to be able to go longer on the machines which had BETTER start showing results in the weight department!