Monstrosities

Sorry about yesterday, it got away from me with all the discoveries I made and whatnot. Like what a 'pod' is - it's all very distracting.

The weekend was interesting. I went to my son's band competition (one of many - he's a member of a very good marching band) and watched this one band with this Wednesday Adams chick playing a violin in this weird danse macabre thing. At one point Memory from Cats flows out in a lonely tremolo from her violin and I got a bit misty. There's something about that song that does that to me. Then the drummers come marching across the field and begin spazzing like demented epileptic skeletons. As they march off the field I hear their my old high school! It explains soooo much! A few bands later my son's band comes out and hands them and everyone else there their butts.

Incessant training - truly it shows.

Then, unreasonably wired I head home and get sucked into this GAWD AWFUL SyFi channel movie (?). Movie might be too strong of a word but let's stick with it. It was called Monster Ark and had one of the most interesting subplots of all time. Check it out. There's this middle aged Indiana Jones wannabe who's divorced from his middle aged genius ancient languages expert wife because he had an affair with one of his students.

Except he didn't have an affair. Turns out the accuser had psychological problems and made it up, and his ex-wife knows this.

So... he got divorced for... not having an affair?!

Um, OK, so this dude's a bit of a wussy. Apparently Noah built two arks, shoving the ultimate evil into one because God couldn't get rid of it... HUH? Anyway Indiana Jones Panty Waist is the only one who can dispatch the ultimate evil using Noah's staff of ultimate goodness but first he must believe in God! But he's a devout athiest!

GASP!

You better get believin' wimpy boy and get that staff aglowin' so that we can smooch and save humanity... NOW you conflicted wussy!

I'm starting to lose interest due to the fact that Indiana Jones Panty Waist and Bitter, Faith In God Wife won't SHUT UP about how disappointed they are in each other over the affair that never happened. This endless bickering cuts significantly into Hottie Brunette's screen time.

Hi! I'm the hot brunette cast to keep all you boys interested enough to keep watching this dreck in the vain hope there will be a nude scene or at least an underwear one. Not gonna happen! I'm a tease ::giggle::

I flip over to MTV to see if Snooki might have written this masterpiece. Nope but I get back in time for the exciting climax where Wussy Man decides that maybe it's in the best interest of humanity if he believes in God since his ex is nagging him about it and maybe this will shut her up. Noah's rod starts glowing, the ultimate evil snarls, wimpy boi shoves him in a wooden box using the glowing staff of righteousness, some Arabian looking dude slams the lid shut and the crate is hauled off by a chopper. The reunited middle aged couple kiss and I assume the credits role but I was in the bathroom vomiting by that time.

 

I'm the Ultimate Evil. BOO!!!!!

Next was Monster Wolf but it didn't hold a candle to this, though it did have its moments.

Yesterday I went to the gym, did thirty-five minutes on the spinner and put on weight. Sigh. I know what the problem is, it's diet but I'm still stuck on stage 14 of denial, sticking one's fingers in one's ears and singing, "la-la-la-la" real loud.

I then ran over to work to see my new office pod!

Old, tired office cubicle

New, improved pod

Alternate view with ready access to pod minions!

Is this cool or what?! I'm a little bitter over the fact that my direct reports chose to sit as far as possible from me but I'm getting over it... sorta. I've spent 25 years in a cubicle, let's give this a try, after all what are we, old ladies?