The First Book of the Apocalypse

The signs are becoming clearer...

Yesterday was a head wind, frantic, beat the possible thunderstorm bike ride home in time to pick my daughter up from her camp. So of course two bored teenage boys thought it would be oh-so funny to come up on my agitated butt and startle me by blaring the horn on daddy's car.

HONK HONK

I literally have my house in sight, I pedal on wondering who's laying on the horn behind me, half thinking it's someone who knows me.

HONK HONK

They pull along side me, a kid sticks his football crew-cut head out the window while I stare down at him and screams, "Blah blah blah BUDDY!" giggles and buries his head between his knees laughing. As the car pulls away I can see the driver checking out my reaction in his rear view mirror. I mouth back his license plate number, "EUX 3...".

He hurries off with a head full of paranoia I hope while I go home and carefully write his license plate number into my molskine.

What's the point? The point is, don't mess with Kojak! Yesterday I set him up with the substitute trainer and now I'm getting Karmic payback. I hope we're square now, I didn't enjoy the two jerks in a car but if that's the extent of my worries while biking I can live with that.

Kojak has powers ::shudders::

I rode the bike into the gym again today, testing my Karma. My bike clicked the whole way and I'm gonna have to get that chain addressed or I'll go stark raving mad. I'll try oil first and when that doesn't work I'll annoy goFast and borrow his chain tool.

The gym was rapidly filling up to over capacity. Both ponyTails were there, IronMan, goodMood, some dude, and AT Everest. goodMood might get renamed to 'slim', as he was doing his time on the Stair Climber he was telling the otherPonytail that he'd dropped twenty pounds since May.

I asked, "Are you dying?"

He replied, "Aren't we all?"

Good point. I'm envious and listening carefully to how he did it. He's already eating healthy (check, er check, well sorta check in my case - I can eat healthy but not for long periods of time, if it's over an hour I break out in hives) but after dinner he only drinks water and eats nothing. He thinks that did the trick.

I'm more in awesomeGirl's boat, forever hungry at the moment.

As I'm doing my lunges around 6:15am I see her in the mirror. I stare hard, wanting to be sure. Yep, the prophesy according to coolChick is apparently coming true. End of times. Of all the omens I never really thought this one would come to fruition.

princessLongLegs stood by an elliptical looking blearily about the gym!

Mouth agape, I stroll over to the Herald of Armageddon and ask, "A bit early for you isn't it?"

I'm greeted with a yawn, "Had to take the car into the shop..."

She then runs over and hugs the otherPonyTail oblivious to her apocalyptic ways. I climb onto a treadmill to practice walking for ten minutes and wrap up with stretches. I briefly shoot the breeze with Bubbles who has changed her schedule!

The end is nigh but it's a bit too early to panic. As I climb on the bike I realize I'm starting to fall in love with it, care for it. My wife rolls her eyes at this noting I've lost my ever lovin' mind. I'm considering in that back burner sort of way making modifications to the thing, perhaps a new saddle or shifters, both? Something to brighten the old girl up, so I'll ride her even more and longer.

Peep this out - this is bike data over the last thirty days from the Garmin:

126 miles. Are you impressed? I am, that's more miles than I put on the bike the entire first year I owned it! It's nothing compared to some of my friends like bikerBabe who does such things in a day. But it's a start to the apocalypse ::grin::