The Fall of IronMan

I listen to the litany of feeble excuses with dubious ears. I'm told by JRock that WimpyMan, er IronMan is dealing with work issues and believe you me I can follow that but I saw JRock this morning and apparently IronMan decided that baking was more important exercise. She confirmed he was in a maid's outfit humming Miley Cyrus hits while baking his buttered tarts or whatever it was and that all sorts of greasy food was being consumed.

A single tear rolled down my cheek.

I hate to say it but... but... IronMan has gone over to... The Sausage Side!!! and has become DarkIronMan.

Since I know none of you have the will or the sheer brainlessness to oppose DarkIronMan I'm guessing you're looking to someone stupid enough to create a nonexistent problem and then address it in a fit of irresponsibility and even though the federal government comes to mind I'm thinking someone closer to the problem otherwise it'll take decades to clear the bureaucracy.

ponyTail? Nah, she's far too logical, and goodMood and awesomeGirl suffer from the same 'logic' malady.

That leaves... ME!

Yesssss I feel the transformation occurring. Only Bill can challenge DarkIronMan and his lethargic sausage eating ways and oppose him! I alone shall stand as a shining beacon of goodness and all that is right with the gym rat way of life! I SHALL BECOME A VERITABLE ICON OF DIETARY HOLINESS (well except for ice cream and death doughnuts of course, I mean lets not get carried away here, maybe cookies... buttered popcorn at the movies, we're not savages - where was I? Oh yeah...)

AND LIKE A HIGH PRIEST SHOULD DARKIRONMAN EVER SET FOOT IN THE GYM AGAIN I SHALL BATTLE HIM UNTIL HE REPENTS AND CASTS THE DARK SAUSAGE FROM HIS BOWELS!!!

But not in the gym, the casting out of the dark sausage should only occur in the potty... alone, I mean I don't want to be around when that happens. I'll trust him if he says he's cast out the dark sausage, good enough for me. I'll take a waver on that whole trust but verify thing.

YESSSSSSSS I FEEEEEL IT - I ACCEPT MY DESTINY

TREMBLE WITH FEAR DARKIRONMAN AND...

BEHOLD YOUR NEMESIS...