Gratitude

Well I've been busy but that's no excuse. Life swirls around me and therefore I simply must blog about it. There must be a record so that others (those left behind) will know what happened, where it all went wrong and perhaps avoid these errors.

Awhile back I mentioned we're in 'it' now. Naturally cruel fate decided to up the ante and dumped even more snow upon us. Needless to say I didn't take this well and word on the street is to expect even more sometime this weekend and maybe even Monday so the schools might close again. Time will tell.

Before the snow hit on Monday I came out of the gates with a bounce in my step and a gleam in my eye. By 3pm that was gone as I crawled along in the morass that was traffic at the time, trying to flee the white death and reach the safety of my home, knowing in my heart of hearts that my son (who's smarter than I'll ever be) would not have shoveled the driveway. Why bother? He's fifteen and not driving anywhere.

My despair was nearly complete. I had weighed in that Monday, expecting maybe 205 since, yes gentle reader I did partake of treats of damnation and paid a heavy price for it as I stared at 207 on the scale. We're no longer speaking, the scale and I. In fact I wont even look at the terrible thing, it's dead to me. D-E-A-D. It's obvious, even to the most unsophisticated lout that my body is trying to defend me against the harsh winter by heaping warming fat upon my wondrous body, thwarting my attempts to firm up and drop weight for the upcoming century.

I shake my fist at my stagnant metabolism in frustration!

So, of course today is Lent and even though I'm not a Catholic the rest of my family is (long story short, if I wanted to marry my wonderful wife the kids had to be raised Catholic - where do I sign?) and there's been much wailing and gnashing of teeth on what they're giving up for the next forty days. They've been gamely applying peer pressure (and if the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s are any indicator I'm a sucker for it), gently needling me about what I'm going to give up.

Grinning ear to ear I reply, "There are times when it's good to be a heathen!"

But now I can not ignore this metabolic omen of doom. That would be unwise and invite disaster. Why just yesterday I had another warning shot fired across my bow by whatever capricious being is currently playing with Bill.

I lost my hat.

Sometime in the morning it just disappeared. I noticed it when I was walking out to the car after gym on Tuesday and little snowflakes fell upon my pate making me quite cold. You might not notice it but Bill is follicly impaired. Bald in other words. So I tend to perceive things like cold snowflakes on my scalp. I looked everywhere but the hat was gone, and this wasn't just any hat. I've had that hat for close to 20 years.

That evening, as I watched Olympians while eating no bake cookies and ice cream I was sad.

This morning as I stumbled about at 4am I was fairly certain that I wouldn't be giving up hats for Lent and would have to find a suitable replacement on the net. However this all changed when I pulled into the gym this morning and saw...

Reenactment

My heart filled with joy! I hopped out of the car, shoving a mystified IronMan out of the way, grabbed my hat and pulled it over my chilly, grateful head, letting the snow that accumulated over the last 24 hours melt on my scalp. Whoever did me such a kindness, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Still the portents are clear and can NOT be ignored. I must offer some sort of... oblation, that's a word right? The spell checker says it is so I'm good with it.

::takes a deep breath::

So, for Lent, which is forty days I think, I will at a minimum give up my evening treats.

There I said it.

ponyTail, TIM, IronMan and awesomeGirl were all in the gym today. It was good to see IronMan again even though he tried to get me to do my own patio work this spring instead of paying for it. Me, the screedless wonder.

On another front, TIM has been trying to get me to change his name to deerHunter posting subtleties like, "deerHunter is way better than TIM" on my facebook wall. He didn't exactly help his case this morning by reminding me of how young he was compared to the fossil Bill. ponyTail, another youngster wasn't helping - at all!

I have been babbling (I was doing another LSD thing on the bike) about having seen The Stones when they were young and having TIM come back with, "I believe I was in diapers when Jagger turned 60."

I finally hop off the bike. IronMan had left the building and I'm not sure what to do with myself. I've been on the bike for fifty minutes of non coasting FUN and TIM's been taunting me to compete on various feats.

Weight lifting!

Not likely TIM. How about pushups?

SURE! I bet I can do fifty. How many can you do?

Well it depends on how you define 'pushup.'

This brings giggles and guffaws from around the gym. So I retort:

How about something on the bike.

TIM goes quiet perhaps exposing an Achilles heel.

We go back and forth a bit before ponyTail, sensing blood in the water, challenges TIM to do a marathon this October. He mentions that he's walked 26 miles with two hunting dogs and a shotgun. I'm not sure how the race organizers would take to that but why not? I imagine anyone in front of him would be well motivated to keep moving and those behind him just might opt to remain there like when you come up on a State Trooper who's going 64 on the interstate. You're just not sure you want to pass him.

It was a great day in the gym. I'm even giving more thought to penning ponyTail's biography, ponyTail, A Sordid Marathon Tragedy. Or something like that.

I've taunted TIM enough, he's a gentle spirit so I will paradoxically call him deerHunter going forward with this blog.

I haven't decided if I'm going to blog about it or not but if you have a moment would you please say a prayer for my Father-In-Law "Bo"? He's going through a rough patch at the moment and kind thoughts never hurt.

Thanks.