Ding Ding

My thoughts pop and sizzle across my mind like water droplets on a overheated skillet. I don't try and latch on to any of them, letting the skitter across my consciousness like so much clutter whirling around Dorthy's room before she achieved liftoff and headed to Oz.

I'm doing sixty minutes on the upright bike.

I don't know why, I'm just doing it. My focus is currently rudderless.

There's an eruption of noise off to the left. It sounds like IronMan is killing a small boar with a the feral grunts and whatnot. I put on my glasses to check it out. Oh, he's doing that again, some horrible pushup routine JRock stumbled across. Only IronMan is insane enough to try them. Silly Rabbit.

I think I'm on the bike because of HER, she haunts my dreams... and I must prepare.

No, not her you dweeb. She's just some everyday chick in a spin class pretending to workout. They're all over the place and you usually have to shove one out of the way if you want to get a bike. Except this chick is the worst, she's a faker and so I hate her.

Even if she's just warming up for her workout which I doubt but let's give her the benefit of the doubt, with all that makeup on after three minutes spinning I guarantee you she'd look like this:

So give me a break, honestly why would such a creature haunt my dreams?

No, no no...the dream is always the same, starting with the distant sound of a bell...

ding-ding

Hear it?

I'm on my fancy-pantsy Madone burning down some bike path at a casual cadence.

ding-ding

A little louder. With dream logic I know this is not a good thing but having faith in my carbon-fiber wonder bike I shift into a faster gear and thrill at the sudden burst of acceleration. "Welcome to dropsville, population you - LOSER!" I mentally gloat.

ding-ding

Louder still. I glance behind and see her, my heart filling with dread. How can this be happening? My head snaps forward and I open the floodgates pouring everything I've got into the bike.

ding-ding

Oh dear God!

ding-ding

I only catch a glimpse of her as she whips by, her demonic smile at crushing me... she's gone.

I wake up screaming.