I'm in a blind rage. Why? I don't know specifically but the trigger is my company's "Health Fair." I can follow my company's line of reasoning with this stuff perfectly. They (yes the ubiquitous 'they') want to help me get to a healthier lifestyle, a lifestyle I embarked on at the beginning of this blog somehow lost the routine, the discipline and now have lost my way back. They want to drive their health care costs down and I'm all for that - you wanna misbehave, PAY FOR IT!I have fought A LOT of addictions during my stint on this planet, I know from experience exactly what it will take to waddle my way back to a reasonable weight and at the moment I'm not willing to do it.
Last year I tried and 'tried' is a very subjective word modifying my diet. It did not take, my wife really REALLY wants me back in the gym, back on a healthy routine. I have waited almost two years to get out of this funk, this blog is littered with false starts and half attempts and I am at wits end.
What happens next is I'm going to have to show up at some other meeting and get weighed, blood tested, blood pressure etc. Then a few weeks later I'll get some email stating that I have to do such and such or pay $X. Last year I tried such and such this year will be where do I pay?
I was extremely short with my wife (sorry!) at lunch today - she doesn't deserve that static. I think it's a reflection on my disappointment in myself and my inability to kick start this process.
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