Offensively Inoffensive

My son and I have been on a bit of a movie binge of late. I finally saw Watchmen which was a great rendition of the - what's the pretentious word for comic book? - oh yeah, graphic novel. It's a dark story that lacks a 'typical' (e.g. Superman saves the day at the last second) happy ending. The guy who played Rorschach was awesome. Check it out. It's dark, moody and thoughtful if you're in the mood for that.

It took me an hour and a half to 'size' the spinner today, and I'm taking all sorts of static for it. A needs a name is asking if all I plan to do is set something, get off the bike and set something else. ponyTail asks if I'm ever going to get on the thing and start working out. Her comment startles me, she just seemed to appear out of no where.

You can't help but like ponyTail if you're fortunate enough to get to kinda know her. She has a sarcastic view of some things that make you grin in agreement. She tells me that she was hiding behind the pillar of shame when I walked in. The 'pillar of shame' is this one corner of the gym that has some exercise equipment in front of it that forms a pillar. You can position yourself in that area in such a way that you don't feel like you're on display to the cardio crowd. I like to hide there myself when doing crunches or some Bubbles invented abomination on a BOSU.

I'm starting work on the spinner getting as into it as I can given my mindset, letting The Pogues drift into my head, "So be easy and free when you're drinking with me..."

awesomeGirl is over to my right looking like she's enjoying her time on the recumbent about as much as she would serious time with the dentist. I don't know what to say to her but I fully understand her expression.

J-TOSRV comes in followed by her hubby D-TOSRV and I grin over to her while Irish despair wails in my ears, "And the old men march slowly, all bent, stiff and sore. The forgotten heroes from a forgotten war..." She beelines for the spinner next to me and I point out that it's seat is currently broke. She frowns, "When will you be off the bike?"

I look down at 27 minutes remaining and reply, "In about a minute." I'm feeling like gabbing with ponyTail at the moment anyway since I haven't seen her in forever. As I'm wiping down the bike J-TOSRV begins offering it to her hubby. I'm having none of that noise! Her hubby can wait and I tell her so. If she's not gonna use the bike then I'll wrap up my workout. D-TOSRV is cracking up and heads towards an elliptical.

I stroll over to ponyTail who's doing something awful to herself on a floor mat. I mention that she is just getting prettier and prettier while I'm grabbing a exercise ball to do crunches on. This flusters her so much that she loses count, gets up and glares/grins at me.

Upon reflection I think we all need to hear that from time to time. You work your butt off in the gym and you want third parties to notice you're dropping pounds, firming up, whatever. That doesn't mean you want to be hit on or get married or any of that you just want noticeable results. ponyTail gets that, even from an apostate gym rat such as myself, she knows that I recognize the effort going into her workout so I'm mystified on exactly how we ended up on the subject of the anti-harassment course we all have to take at work.

I plan to take that course in a few minutes and get it out of the way. It's an online course and ponyTail is giving me some of the skinny like how the course carefully skates around offensive language/topics while simultaneously trying to instruct you on offensive language and topics. Apparently "rear end" is used as opposed to butt, like our kids do before bursting into giggles.

I can't wait to witness this exercise in delicate instruction for the easily offended. I'll probably find it offensively inoffensive.

I head out to start my busy day hoping it's going to be as great as the morning was. My family and I might be heading to a jazz concert at the gym this evening. I hope so but we'll have to lie to my daughter most likely telling her they'll be playing hits from Sweeny Todd - actually that might not be a lie since there were no hits from Sweeny Todd.

Have a superior weekend!

Laurie Juspeczyk: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a super villain just so he could get beaten up all the time?

Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked away. He starts following me down the street in broad daylight, yelling 'Punish me! Punish me!' I'm just saying 'No! Get lost.'
 
Laurie Juspeczyk: God. Whatever happened to him?
 
Dan Dreiberg: Well, he pulled that on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.
 
[pause, then both laugh]
 
Laurie Juspeczyk: Oh my god. That isn't even funny.
 
Dan Dreiberg: [laughing] It is a *little* funny.

Watchmen