Friday, March 18, 2011

Dude... DIBS!

They say it's cold in hell. I tended to agree as I stood in line waiting for the opportunity to purchase an iPad 2 in the wee hours.

A buddy and I had decided, upon hearing that this store would be opening at 9AM since they were getting a shipment of iPads in. We talked about it figuring if we showed up around 7am we should have no problems.

I could NOT sleep that night due to my excitement. Finally I was going to get an iPad!!! Around 2AM I started waking up, at 3:30 I said screw it, got up showered/shaved blah blah blah, got a cup of joe and a lawn chair before heading to the Apple store. I got there about 4:30ish and as I was getting my chair out when this dude hopped out of his car next to me saying, "You here for the iPad thing? The security guy wont let you stand out there until 7am"

"Can I set up my chair?"

"Well there are two other ones out there so probably."

I sat in my chair (the third one from the left) trying not to shiver or think too much about the fact that I'd be here for 4.5 hours. About fifteen minutes into it a security guard pulls up and tells me to move on but he let me keep my chair there. I head back to the car and warm up.

Around 6:30am the security guard takes down the cones blocking access to the front of the store so I drove around and parked there. Shortly after that around 6:45am there were enough people to achieve critical mass and the security guard just gave up trying to shoo us away.

So I'm standing primarily because it gets too cold to when I sit hopping around getting a feel for the crowd. I'm fourth in line. In front of me is 1am followed by 3am and 4:15am. We all have high hopes and are feeling pretty good about our position. We start asking each other what we want the guys in front of me all want 32GB WiFi. I'm definitely leaning towards a 64GB WiFi. The folk behind me seem to want 16 or 32 GBs.

Around 7am the Apple folk start showing up. We're trying to get the skinny and getting blank stares in return until the manager shows up. I know he's the manager because he's speaking gibberish.

"How many iPads did you get in?"

"I don't know if we got any in but if we did we'll be opening the store at 9am"

This is met with a sudden change in mood from the crowd. We begin to darkly mutter, "We were told yesterday you were definitely getting a shipment in..." while we collectively wonder why we're standing here at this ungodly hour.

The manager blanches, putting a door between us and him. He's back to saying, "I don't know if we got any in but if we did we'll be opening the store at 9am"

"When are you opening the store?"

"9am"

"So you definitely have some..."

And he's gone, fleeing into the store.

This oriental dude shows up grinning ear to ear, standing just to my left behind me. I turn to him and start telling him the line is at the rear. There are probably 30-40 people there now. He begins babbling about being more than happy to buy my 'second' iPad from me (we were allowed two) and to pay cash for it.

It's about 7:30am. I'm tired. I'm cold. I glance down the line at all the folk behind me, paying their dues just like me and this clown wants to rob one of them of their chance at an iPad today? Where was he at 3:30 - 4AM? I tell him, "No." Still grinning he moves down the line working others.

My buddy shows up. I'd been telling my brethren about him so they wouldn't be pissed when he just started standing next to me. I'm not worried, if they don't want to let him get one I'll just buy two and he can pay me back - my line pals appear to grok this on a cellular level.

We're gabbing amongst ourselves when the store manager shows back up. He's relieved that he has any at all but he has only six. He turns to 1am and asks what he wants.

"A 32GB black WiFi"

The manager grins, makes some mark on a piece of paper and says, "Good because in 32GB that's ALL I have today. There are no more 32 GBs. What's left are 2 64GB WiFi blacks and three 16GB WiFis - I have no cellular ones in this shipment."

Next is 3:30am who opts for a 16GB black - followed by 4:15am who opts for a 64GB, then me and I take a 64GB while staring sadly at my buddy. He does NOT want a 16GB and so has nothing. I have no idea what happens to the two remaining 16GBs.

The rest of the crowd disperses except for those of us 'winners' (that's what it felt like). We're gabbing amongst ourselves and I'm telling some folk what I've learned from other iPad owners which is you do not want to 16GB because you'll run out of space.

That's when 3:30am hit's me with his treachery, "You're gonna hate me but I've been listening and I've decided I want the 64GB one."

I'm filling a mixture of panic, bitterness and anger. Grinning back at him I say, "Dude... dibs!"

He looks at me and says, "I'm sorry."

My buddy is quietly telling me to talk to the manager which I was fully intending to do. When he shows back up letting us in because it's cold I'm on him like white on rice. I tell him of 3:30's backstabbing ways and then step back awaiting his ruling. He turns to 3:30 and says, "I'm sorry but I've already given it to this gentleman."

PHEW!

I'm still on pins and needles watching 3:30 like a hawk making sure he behaves until Lorelei elven goddess of the woods (well that's what she looked like, I'm thinking Apple is probably lax on their drug testing) showed up to process my order in her black with white polka-dots rain boots.

And then I got it. Happy happy sighs - like goFast says this is a game changing device - I've only had it for a few days but I seriously love it. My buddy did the 4:30AM thing the following day and picked up one that was just a little better than mine (cellular model) but that's the way he rolls.

Monday, March 14, 2011

iPad2? Fat Chance!

Well everything pales next to what's happening in Japan.

I opted for my son's band competition and so missed any opportunity of getting an iPad 2 when they went on sale Friday. I wasn't alarmed figuring I could just stroll in on Saturday and grab one. I proved I was just about as divorced from reality as the Obama administration Saturday morning during my whirlwind tour of local stores. Apple, Target, Best Buy, Walmart - NADA. Sales clerks were actually laughing in my face! "Do we have any iPad 2s? AS IF!" So I went online and ordered one through Apple, I should get it in April 2025 when the iPhone70 and iPad64 are debuted.

Shrug. At least it will be what I want as opposed to good enough if that's all you have impulse buy in a store.

I'm struggling with the time change having gone to bed way too early and then did the check what time it is tango from about 1am to 4am when I got up.

I did forty-five minutes on the spinner doing intervals. goFast is already out on his bike battling the wind and temperatures far ahead of this little sissy. Of course goFast is dangerously insane.

Friday, March 11, 2011

iPads and Goddesses

I think this look would totally work for me.

I'm humping this spinner waiting for 5pm, a moment in chaos, since I have actual responsibilities being weighed against desire, lust, geek lust actually which is the ugliest kind of lust. What will happen? Will I sacrifice my son's band thingy for the object of my desire or bow to what's right and go to the performance or will I manage to do both?

I sense overwhelming indifference on your end of the line while the battle for my immortal soul rages. I may keep you posted on what happens with Bill's version of Sophie's Choice, or I may be busy playing alone in my room with my toy... er, iPad. I mean iPad, yeah, that's what I mean, mmhmm.

I'm irked with the fascist Jobs at the moment. What's this noise about releasing the new iPads at 5pm forcing us poor proletariat types to actually work for the entire day before contributing to rush hour chaos by screaming across town to get in line for a new iPad. In 'the ago' these things came out around noon and we'd get about a half day walking around work looking über-cool while those that didn't partake in Apple's brand of kool-aid gnashed their teeth in android envy!

Steve, what happened dude? You use to be cool!

ponyTail is over by the chin up bar doing her thing and gabbing with goodMood about Charlie Sheen.  She wants to be thought of as a goddess but not enough to let me change her name from ponyTail to goddess. I'm not sure why she wants to downgrade from the exalted status of Mom but it's probably down the lines of even moms want to be goddesses sometime. Heck moms might even want to be Charlie Sheen goddesses dancing on pool tables, heads filled with illicit things GASP! Not sure where ponyTail falls on that continuum.

We'll see how the evening unfolds for both ponyTail and I :-)

Be well.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Food Labels

Not much going on, I'm pretty much waiting for Friday at 5pm, aren't you?!

I did some crunches, lifting in the gym today. Gave AT Everest a ride over to work and now am pondering food labels, this guy has a point:



Nothing in my noggin at the moment, have a great day!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Uncomplicated

Kasich gets heckled during his state of the state speech probably indicating he's on the correct track. Tressel is a dirty boy destined for gay porn as his life begins that Charlie Sheen death spiral, nah, he'll be fine. He's playing this right.

Me? I'm on this stupid spinner mulling the last few days and hoping/wondering if my latest attempt at 'steely resolve' will take this time around.

I had stumbled into the gym yesterday where I was startled to see a very happy and healthy IronMan in the middle of some P90X abomination, putting his feet on a bench, his hands on 20lb dumbbells. He does a push up, lifts one dumbbell, another push up, lifts the other dumbbell...

sigh

Shamed. It's really tough to phone it in when IronMan is in the room so I immediately give up and head for the showers.

But that was yesterday and today is today and ever since that evil girl wearing a brownie uniform dropped by yesterday evening with a mess-o-thin-mints that I stupidly ordered figuring I'd have things handled by now, that I'd get a grip... Sheen like I'd be WINNING by this moment in time...



But I'm not.

And as I pound these pedals and battle these indolent demons my mind wishes to rebut that hater on the radio yesterday who was badmouthing sports as having no value (his argument in effect was that we're taking this Tressel thing too seriously) in 'the real world.' There is oodles of value in discipline, the will to just do it. It's broken me, turned me into some indifferent burnout trying to claw my way back into caring, nah that's not it, I care but I've lost the JOY I once had in doing this stuff. It should be... uncomplicated.



You think it's over now
But this is only the beginning
It's in your eyes
Uncomplicated

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Carolina vs Dook

My meeting was running long and I was getting antsy. Finally I interrupted the conversation saying, "I'm sorry but I'm guessing my father is in the driveway at this time."

"Go."

I did. Dad and I got to a very cold cottage around 1:30am, flipped on the heat, bundled up and went to bed. That morning I got up and began taking stock of the cabin. My dad is watching the news and starts joking about that BYU player, "I could have taken the team deep into the NCAA tournament, signed some big NBA contract for millions of dollars... but it was worth it!!!" I burst out laughing.


There's always something to do but since we're down here only for a few days, big projects are not practical. So I pass on the downed grape vine and hope I'll be able to use my neighbor's serious tractor when I'm down here later to rip out fifty year old vines. Instead we decide to take down one Martin house that was bent when my uncle accidentally backed into it. We then modified another house and add the gourds from the old house to the other one, creating ultra-mega-Martin-house! I made the required trip to Walmart, picking up some food and a new weather station.

Game day. Dad and I decide to burn the brush pile that's accumulated over a few years. We get that going and I stroll over to look at this million-five dollar cottage that's going up. Three chimneys, two stories, it's going to be a nice place but kinda big for these parts in my opinion.


We're sitting on plastic chairs simultaneously watching the fire burn and this dude approach us while he's walking his dog. He heads our way and I'm figuring he's just trying to be sociable but about a minute into the conversation I reevaluate him as one of those folk who live year round at the lake going quietly insane. His big issue, when he's done badmouthing some other neighbor I don't know, seems to be the dropping aquifer due to all the people living in the area and how soon we'll be in dire need of either water or dysentery treatments. He wants me to sign some paper and kick in $125 so that we can get a county line run into this area. If the application doesn't go through I get my money back. I take the form, I'm not sure I'm gonna sign it.

My father refuses to head into the lake and get a part of the dock I need if I'm going to repair it when the weather warms up. What's up with that? Yeah, the greatest generation my ass, and yeah the water was cold! So I measure it and it's 39 inches long, huh? Oh well. I take a nap and then we get ready for the game.

 We head down to Chapel Hill and visit some relatives. We eat some excellent Chinese food and I help my cousin and in doing so I get an opportunity to torment her granddaughter in facebook, my second cousin twice removed or third cousin once removed depending on which common ancestor you take through my inbred family tree. I've never met this granddaughter.

My cousin, whom I'll refer to as 'cougar' (since she's intrigued with the concept) is trying to see some pics of her granddaughter who is, simply put, beautiful. So I'm on cougar's account, root around granddaughter's photos a bit but can't figure out which ones she's talking about so, with cougar's permission, I show her how to post on her granddaughter's wall, "Where are the damn pictures?!"

She posts back on cougar's wall, "Go to my page and click under my profile picture under photos and scroll down and you will see them. Learn how to work facebook!"

Cougar is miffed and mutters something about a graduation present... so I post, "How badly do you want a graduation gift you PUPPY?! ::how to work facebook - sheesh::"

She replies with a URL to the pics and instructions, "click there and keep scrolling right and you will see them."

So we click there and scroll to the bottom where we find a picture of her acting goofy with some other girl kind of like they're kissing (they're not) so we comment on the picture, "OK I scrolled to the bottom of your profile pics and found you KISSING A GIRL! OMG"

"I dont think this is me kissing a girl. haha. this picture is 8 years old!"

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A LESBIAN?!"

"who has hacked into my grandmas facebook? she doesnt talk like this......."

Cougar's phone starts ringing. It's her granddaughter, cougar promptly rats me out to her. I sent her a friend request, what do you think my chances are? I hug cougar goodbye. My dad and I go to the game.

Going to the Dook game is such an awesome experience! Around halftime they begin showing former Carolina players saying, "I'm Tyler Hansbrough and I am a Tarheel!" There were a bunch of them but it closed with, "I'm Dean Smith and I am a Tarheel!" with Dean looking out of one of those huge TV screens giving off that Emperor from Star Wars vibe as he gazes down on the ferret Krzyzewski with malevolence. The crowd goes wild. The t-shirts are also a hoot. This game was the loudest Carolina game I can recall and a whole lot less tense than the 2005 game which I was also lucky enough to attend, thanks to my dad.


The next day we go over to my uncle's to play scrabble.


What a great trip! ::happy sigh::

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Archer

ponyTail asks in her usual direct manner, "Everything OK?" This coming after I'm obviously storming around the gym in a mood best defined as 'grumpy.' She's detected a similar vibe in my most recent posts. I'm not sure what the thorn in my side is, probably a mini Archer (a season one impulse buy at Target) binge last night that kept me up until the ungodly hour of 11pm.

While doing crunches, curls and scowling I ponder Archer, a secret agent. The show is effectively mind candy and all I can remember about it is giggling my fool head off.



Anyway like Big Bang Theory, well, no that's a dangerous comparison. I'd watch Big Bang Theory with my daughter... Archer not so much. But both shows are funny!

Below is a little snippet of why I'd probably avoid Archer/Daughter time. We'll stick to Glee.

Archer: [Wearing only a towel and baseball catcher's mask] WOODHOUSE! Do we have any lube? Like at this point even some olive oil would [finds his mother in the living room]... help me get that drawer unstuck.

Woodhouse: Sir, that stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face and she says she can't go to hospital because she's quote, 'tripping balls.'

If you're up for something as stupid/funny as The League peep Archer out Thursdays at 10pm or buy the DVDs.