A Question of Style

This has nothing to do with this post but I like the pic

I'm cranky, let's be 'transparent' about that and it might have colored today's spin class.

The TOSRVs were um 'motivating' me all yesterday afternoon to attend today's spin class and I enjoyed last weeks with Bill and figured, "Why not?"

So, I was a tad apprehensive when Bill wasn't there but instead this other trainer, a female who I've never taken a class from. She's already got the McDonald's headset on which isn't a good sign in my book, it means the music's gonna be loud at 5:45am.

Thank God hangOver showed up! I had managed to get to the room ahead of the TOSRVs and picked a bike in the back row surrounded by people I didn't know. The TOSRVs were making noises about wanting to be next to me so that they can get use to me when we do real road bike work together. I saw right through that, and I'm shy believe it or not. I will be doing real riding with the TOSRVs and anyone else who will have me this summer but I'm not gonna even TRY to match those two in a spin class.

I can't recall if I mentioned hangOver or not but she was in the spin class I took last week. hangOver is a twenty something chick with a high ponytail that bobs like a samurai topknot who looks like she was up waaaayyyy too late the night before. Twenty somethings can do that, it takes me about a week to recover from one all-nighter - sigh. Anyway, last week she set up in front of me and I was able to match cadence with her which was pretty cool to see in the mirror and helped me get through the class.

She sets up in front of me again due to one of two reasons, it was one of the few remaining bikes or she's fallen in love with me a little. Probably the latter.

So the class is starting and the music is the kind I'd associate with a Rave if I had ever been to a Rave, this techno-funk crap (for lack of a better word) that Kingsley occasionally dials in in the morning at the gym. I'm certain it's fine at 2am when you're stoned out of your mind on extacy and other than possibly hangOver none of the rest of us were. In short this music does not work for me at 5:45am.

So the instructor has us at a fairly high cadence and is gabbing about drinking water and listening to the beat of the music while cranking up the resistance on the bike and keeping your cadence. Or something like that and I'm following along but hangOver isn't helping since she's clearly dogging it on the cadence thing and this music is at about 9,000bpms and the instructor has taken waaayyyyy to much speed for this hour of the morning and is churning the pedals so fast her legs are a blur.

What beat? I mean I'm a middle aged white guy and I can't find anyone to match beats with so I'm genetically stuck and that's what the instructor wants us to do (find the beat and hold it) until she completely loses her mind and has us start doing these things called 'jumps.'

A jump consists of the following. You're sitting like you would normally on a bike (position one). You then go to standing like a tour rider climbing a monster hill (position two). Next, still climbing, you go to the front of the handlebars which feels a lot like when I'm on the hoods of a real bike (position three). Finally you remain in position three except you bend way over like you're sprinting full speed for the finish line (position four).

The instructor begins calling out "one" (hold for five beats); "two" (hold for five beats); "three" (hold for five beats); "four" (hold for five beats). Then you go through it at four beats, three beats, two beats, one beat. We do this for (I think) eighty counts.

Well some did. I bailed after the second count (four beats). hangOver is totally digging this jump thing and maybe a few others but I couldn't get past the 'why' of it. What benefit is this providing in making me a better bike rider? If I was looking for this sort of stuff I'd probably be in the aerobics class down the hall. All I know is I would never perform this maneuver on a bike, and if I did one of my biking brethren would probably shoot me to put me out of my misery ("He clearly went mad, I had to kill him!")

Filled with passive aggressive rage I sit back and either spin or climb while tossing in the occasional sprint but if there are 'jumps' I'm off the reservation. The jumping goes on forever or twenty minutes maybe.

During the course the instructor is either cajoling us ("come on!") or telling us to drink more water between 'hills.' A hill in spin parlance is increasingly dialing up the resistance while pedaling. She then begins yakking about this monster hill we're about to climb and up we go.

I'm amused and 'out of the class' just hammering through it and pondering her 'style' which is markedly different than Bill's. I can't fault her, I'm just not into it. So what? Then she gets to the grand finale which is some sort of cadence work out. A series of very fast paced techno 'songs' come on and we're suppose to crank up the resistance while keeping the beat.

Honestly, I'm not sure what drummer she's listening to, but her legs are a whirring blender of destruction. If she's on beat she's on beat at about 12 to 60 times the actual beat of the song. I'm occasionally catching the beat of the song (I think) and trying to work with it since once again hangOver bailed and her count is the inverse of the instructors, her legs moving at the speed of slow.

I focus on this knot on the wood floor and just bang it out.

The cool down was good.

So I think it's fair to say that this lady's course was not my cup of tea but that doesn't mean she's in anyway shape or form a poor instructor. I'll leave you with some heart charts, the first from Bill's class last week and the second from today's. I could have probably gotten my HR up higher in today's class if I had done all the jumps, but I didn't now did I?

Bill's Class

Today's Class