Bill the PATSY

Let's be clear, that's PATSY - got it?

First an open letter:

Dear Lying Liars and the Lying Lies You Tell to Make Bill a Patsy,

When you push the 'Accept' button on Bubbles' request for her H.E.A.T. class that is a commitment gosh darn it! Not only is Bubbles counting on you but Bill is too! Bill needs you so that Bill can at least have a prayer that he'll blend in, otherwise...

Bill is left at the altar of pain with the otherPonyTail! ::mutters:: bastards! ::mutters::

Needless to say Bill sticks waaayyyyyyy out by comparison! A pox upon your houses! You had better show up next time or... I blog you long time baby!

Sincerely,
Bill the Patsy

Take a peep at the heart chart, can you find when ABS ended and H.E.A.T. began? Take your time.

Attendance was light at ABS today, there was quietGuy, the otherPonyTail, myPeg and yours truly. The TOSRVs are on vacation or something. ABS is subtle in the sense that I won't really feel it until tomorrow but I'm already feeling the aftermath of H.E.A.T. my throbbing (not in a good, Harlequin romance way) thighs already promising a week of lactic vengeance while muttering, "We see you have a learning disability!"

I broke once or so in ABS and when it happens I always feel like such a loser but um whatever. Even with her ever expanding gut Bubbles is still remarkably flexible, laying on her back one foot pulled back to her butt and the other leg straight up at ninety degrees. She then climbs that leg like a rope going, "One, two, three now touch the bottom of your heel, hold it and then back down."

Bill the board, laying on my back, one foot pulled in near my butt my other leg sorta at ninety degrees... OK maybe sixty degrees trying to climb my leg and having to bend my knee significantly if I want to come near my heel. I keep trying and at least work on the muscle group I'm suppose to work on or I think I'm suppose to work on, some muscle in my tummy doesn't like what I'm doing so I'm probably on the right track.

When ABS was over everyone left so quickly that it was just me and the otherPonyTail, well and Bubbles of course. I had offered her up to fifty bucks before class to dial it back a notch today. She scoffed at such meager offerings. At first I thought it was ethics but now I think it's more like she really likes her job! Sheesh.

I'm gonna have to figure out a way to record one of these H.E.A.T. classes. Once again I can't recall anything clearly, just bits and pieces. I got off on the wrong foot by trying to beat the otherPonyTail on the two laps around the gym thing. That girl is competitive. I managed to tie her on that but after that spent the entire rest of the class pretty much so far back that Bubbles would have to repeat her instructions on the next horror by the time I completed something. Usually the otherPonyTail was a full lap ahead of me.

I didn't try and catch up, honestly I didn't have a prayer of doing that but I did try and complete what was asked. Well until the jump rope segment. By then I had nothing. My motor control had been growing steadily worse which is kind of a weird thing to experience. There's this one drill where you're suppose to alternate tapping your toe to a step, real fast. I so totally suck at that. I glance over at twinkle toes otherPonyTail and she's getting a good cardio workout out of it. Me, probably too but I just seem to lack the coordination.

I keep trying, glad I ate that Clif bar an hour before class.

Towards the end I became The Zombie Bill, staggering after the otherPonyTail trying to get to the end and eat Bubbles brains.

Will I be there next Tuesday? mmhmm.

This class is a monster, great workout for me and I neeeeeed it. I hope you lying liars will man (or girl) up and be there too; otherwise the course will probably get canceled. Although that would make my thighs very happy it would sadden me.

Last week I sent Bubbles an email titled, My thighs ARE SO MAD AT YOU!!! Here's part of her reply:

Recommendation for next time:  Utilize the wall illustrations in the Graviton/Rower Room after Tuesday’s class.  Also, drink plenty of water after class and today to refuel!!!  You may opt to have a G2 after class as well for that is a great way to load up on the electrolytes that will help eliminate the lactic acid burn – along with the static stretching at the end of the workout.

G2 (the next generation Gatorade - yeah, I had to google it) clocks in at 25 calories.

For next class:

• Clif bar before class
• G2 after class
• Stretching

Yesterday I weighed in at 206, today 202. Too funny since I'm certain most of that is water weight, still I didn't eat one treat yesterday, not one. We'll see if I get through today.