Snot flows freely over my upper lip, the coarse bike glove dragging across it bringing sporadic relief, tears roll down my cheeks from the cold and a mouth full of cherry flavored Cold-EEZEs dribble down my chin like blood. I look like Bella dumped me, a broken hearted Edward on a bike - only HOTTER.
What the heck am I doing
Peddling onward I wonder when the bottom falls out and Lindsay Lohan is reduced to a bike if it will be a tandem so when she wrecks she can pin it on her assistant. There's quite a competition heating up between Bynes and Lohan. As Lauren Sivan noted, 'Lohan to Bynes: "I'm the Mayor of HotMessHollywood, get it?"' after she got arrested for leaving the scene of an accident. This was in response to Bynes getting kicked out of a spin class after she pulled her top off revealing a tiny black underwire bra to everyone in the class. Apparently this violates some sort of female workout code where it would have been fine had she been wearing a sports bra but lacy black underwires are a big no-no. Personally, I'm fine with it. Suffering from oxygen depravation, or drugs or just plain insanity Amanda then decided it would be a good time to reapply her makeup while casually turning the peddles and ten minutes later the instructor (who I bet was female) kicked her out because all the men in the class had stopped to watch.
Lohan vs Bynes - this could be quite a battle!
I wonder what it would take for me to assume my rightful place as the Mayor of HotMessDublin? Will shaved legs be enough? Maybe a tragic drug dependency to Cold-EEZE would help?
Ah, here at work time to become nearly-normal Bill, put to rest these deep, deep thoughts and try out these new earbuds.
Hot Mess Bynes after a Brutal Spin Class Workout
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