Waning Gibbous

Waning Gibbous? Who comes up with these words? It sounds vaguely dirty or maybe that's just where my head's at (I can hear ponyTail screaming, "TMI! TMIIIII!!!!").

I'm at work and will shortly be working. I've dawdled enough and am now facing unavoidable deadlines, you know the ones with repercussions ::shudders::

IronMan has opted for a new look and a little help on the stairclimber. I can't wait to see him doing push-ups in the gym in this getup!

Which is Worse, Exercise or Vegitables?

This little lady pretty much summed up my feelings about working out as I got on the spinner this morning (thanks to Pattie for calling this to my attention).



So I'm just spinning at the moment waiting to see what happens next.

Autumn Cottage Work Detail

All through the night I drove, periodically spelled by my dad and we got to the cottage around 2am Friday morning after hearing some sob story from some dude named "Kevin Wiggens" at a BP in West Virginia. The guy was vaguely threatening with his buddy in a pickup spilling some tale about an uncle injured in a logging accident and Kevin's need to get to him but he needs gas money. Kevin was drunk. I paid $10 just to make him go away and stewed about it for the rest of the drive. We went to bed and when I woke up I was greeted with this view of the lake.

I'm sipping my coffee on the front porch, relaxed. It's so peaceful... tranquil...

WHERE'S MY #$@!!%%&@!!! DOCK???!!!

This sends me and my dad on a dreadful walk down the hill. I'm figuring it's blown into the cove (or worse into the lake) and it's going to be some major job getting the stupid thing back to where it's suppose to be. Neither dad nor I brought swim suits. I'm making my peace with living a dock-less existence when...

Hmmmm, so the lake is a tad low, hiding the dock below the line of sight and the dock needs repair. Naturally I didn't think to bring a circular saw - GROAN. Oh well something to do in the spring.

Low Lake, Forlorn Dock

We have no TV so we break out the tractors and start to work on mowing my sister's lot where dad amused himself by lapping me with the zero turn while I lumbered around on a regular mowing tractor.

Getting Lapped, Again!

Once we wrapped that up we went to Skipper's, the best barbecue place in Henderson.

Interior of Skipper's

The waitress walking towards me is Crystal and I confess to falling in love with her a little after the flash went off and she looked up, grinned ear to ear and drawled out, "Chueeeeeessssee," slaying me with that Southern drawl. Wish I would have caught her grin in the pic. She took our order (I had Brunswick stew, barbecue, black eyed peas, green peas and sweet tea, I can't recall what dad got except for the stew). I got so enamored with Crystal that I bought her t-shirt. Well not her t-shirt, I mean I doubt if she'd sell it to me even if I'd ask, probably figuring me for some sort of phreak - I mean what would she wear then her bra? At work?! That would be weird. I bought a shirt like hers... yeah. Enough about the darned shirt already and stop looking at me like that!

After that we headed back to the cottage and napped. I woke up on the couch and careful not to wake dad dozing upstairs I snuck out into the heat and mowed some more. As I was coming around the shed where we keep the tractors I got to watch the wind catch the large door just right and rip two of its three hinges off since the ground was so hard from lack of rain that we couldn't properly secure it open. Filled with despair I hop off the zero turn and wrestle the door closed so the wind can't damage it further.

Great. Now I have to go to Lowes and deal with their incredibly unmotivated staff and get some hinges, bolts and a drill bit to punch through metal to replace these goofy things. I'm just glad dad brought a drill.

WHERE IS THE #$@!!%%&@!!! CAR??!!

Oh, I see. While I was in dreamland my father snuck off to play Scrabble in our only means of transportation so I guess the door is gonna wait. I thought he was waiting for Aunt Betty (Aunt by marriage) to show up so they could go over to Nat's together.

Scrabble Playing Fools

But Scrabble is it's own addiction and one must not get between the addict and his opponent. Dad's already been under enormous strain having no Fox News for the last eighteen or so hours so I "get it."

I plop down on a couch and continue reading Black Hills which hasn't really gripped me yet. About ten minutes later Betty shows up and I'm in her car getting what I need for the goofy door. I decide not only to get the hinges but a pair of serious loppers because dad complains about how crappy the ones we have down here are.

I'm standing in line joking with the cash register dude about something when this other dude chimes in behind me joining the fun. This dude is a true Hendersonian and his accent lends credence to that. I've only discovered this particular dialect of 'Southern' in Henderson (pronounced Henneson by the natives, and it's CAR lake not Kerr lake you yankee!) but if you were to attempt a North Carolinian accent (as opposed to a Texas one - my name is Beel down there) after ripping most of your teeth out and numbing your lips and tongue with Novocain you'd get an idea of what this mush mouth dialect sounds like.

I'm making out an occasional word from this guy, "Mumble gnash mumble garble ceramic tile mutter mumble garble..." when this other dude behind him starts laughing at the joke this guy was telling! I felt like I was in Poland, comprehending nothing and merely grinned like an idiot, payed for my stuff and left.

When I got back my dad was there and he and Betty pulled up some chairs, proceeded to get hammered and watched me work on the door.

I'd occasionally annoy dad by asking him to hold some socket wrench while I screwed in the bolt from the other side. Since there were six bolts per hinge and a fair amount of beer involved it took some time getting the right bolt selected ("Noooo, the middle bolt on YOUR right side as you face the door...").

When I was done it looked like this, see my shiny brass hinges? Then we had supper which looked like this (see Bubbles, I was a good boy)! Betty is an awesome cook by the way.

Chicken Pot Pie, fruit salad, regular salad

Sunset

The next morning we tackled the following chores before heading over to Nat's for dinner (lunch, they call lunch "dinner" down here to confuse you).

Next we worked on the sign to to cottage, mine being a modest black arrow that was the original sign when my Uncle B owned the joint, carved from a tobacco stick. I refurbished it, put waaayyyy too much polyurethane on it and now it's peeling like a bad sunburn.

We spruced it up by adding a blue bird house.

Off to Nat's for supper and more Scrabble

Biscuits not shown...

Then back to the cottage and cleaning out the Martin houses and adding some new gourds.

Fancy New Gourds Should Bring the Martins in Droves!

And that was pretty much it. I had a great time with my dad and seeing my relatives and getting the cottage prepped for winter. Thanks to Betty for coming up to help and hanging with us! It was a perfect long weekend.

I love this sign at the cottage... should keep the villains at bay huh?

Sigh

So my son is telling alllll about the fourth dimension which looks sorta like this...if the animation works when I post it anyway. If it doesn't you can peep it out on WikiPedia.

That picture pretty much sums up my current state of mind. I'm a mess. Whatev. I did manage to hump a spinner for thirty five minutes this morning and that endorphin buzz sharply ended at 9:00am. Now I'm scrambling.

Hope your day is going better!!!

Heavy Dues Shall Be Paid... Count On It

Save me Bike Snob, save me!!!

::twiddles thumbs while waiting for inevitable Bike Snob saving::

::glances at the Bike Snob::

Snobby?

...

FINE! So Bill the pinhead decided it would be oh-so-fine to stay up late for no good reason whatsoever and is now paying heavy karmic dues. I had high hopes of actually working out... yesterday but this morning after swilling coffee and stumbling around with the dog outside and finding that I had to return two DVDs to the library, falling into some driving autopilot/trance and forgetting about them until pulling into the gym parking lot and getting out of the car and noticing the little bad boys staring up at me like - oh I don't know - baby birds? expectant inanimate objects? (it's too early for metaphors), groaning, back in the car, driving to the library, depositing the silly things, back to the gym, it's 6:30am, showering, weighing, and now doomed to a day of writing long, rambling, run on sentences that lead nowhere...

Wait a minute!

I have to write my monthly report!

Perhaps all is not lost...

Um, yeah... chick magnet... definitely

Work, Work, Work

For the last two days I've been trying (and failing I might add) to get stuff done at work. It's Zulu Dawn over here at the moment so tomorrow I will follow my trainer-wife's suggestion and get back in the gym for a little spin time on the bike.

Check out these pics from The Bike Snob - looks like a fun ride for whatever the heck that thing is on her bike (a dog?) ::rolls eyes::

Pedal for Pets Ride

I'm sitting to the left off Kaylee's rear wheel in the classic wingman position listening to her bitch about some fireman who keeps flirting with her but wont ask her out. Kaylee is an ER nurse and apparently a member of some local biking club judging from her jersey. She's also a former mountain biker which puts her near the 'insane' category and is recently reengaging with road cycling.

She's a far better cyclist than I am, I watched her whip out her cell phone and snap a picture of the view over the dam while still riding. I had to come to a complete stop in order to do the same, or wreck. I have crappy balance.

 View from the dam

The day started off cool at 52 degrees but was perfect for this sort of work. It is a beautiful day! Oh yeah, I'm on the Pedal for Pets ride which offers all sorts of distances, anywhere from two to forty miles so there's not a lot of reason for not doing it. The shorter distances are all on bike paths. I'm humping the forty miler certain my wife's vigorous training routine has prepared me for such distances.

I latched on to Kaylee heading out to the actual course after asking permission from her and her buddy Pinky, some girl in an all pink jersey. This is my second 'event' ride, the other being my somewhat disastrous sixty miler. What I'm learning about event rides is staying on course can be a little tricky until you figure out how to look for the somewhat cryptic 'signs' spray painted on the road indicating where to turn. In this case it's either a white arrow pointing the way or an orange 'W' with an arrow off the W indicating the way.

Both Kaylee and Pinky appear to have an ability to spot these things and ride around my level so if it's OK with them I'll hang out so as not to get lost. It was.

Kaylee, though claiming not to be, is somewhat slightly competitive dropping her pal Pinky when Pinky got confused and turned into the events one and only rest area which was near the lower left corner of the 'rectangle' we were following. So you could eat at mile eight or mile thirty six. A bit long but I understand the event organizers trying to have anything manned out there and it's location served all the variations on distance they offered.

So these events (based on my knowledge of both of the ones I've attended) have a little registration booth where you sign up and pay (in this case it was $25 + $10 for the t-shirt I got) and they give you a bling bag and tell you to go ahead and head out whenever you're ready. I found the price and the cause very reasonable.

The only one warm at this point was the person in the dog suit on the left

The parking lot filled up with bikers that were serious to family types looking to help out Fido.

Joe Serious (in red) attempting to intimidate me with a frosty stare

Kaylee has launched into a near diatribe about the 'serious' bikers you find at these events being particularly irked with the arrogant ones. This broadside came after we were passed by some club riders blowing by us at whatever pace it was. These groups seem to consist of about four guys and two girls in general. I'm not sure what makes up that dynamic but it appears to be a common ratio. I think I know of what she's gabbing about, I've come across one or two who's conversational repartee consists of, "Where did you get that Madone?" and "What's your average mph?" before smirking and dropping me.

I'm getting a kick out of Kaylee, I don't have to talk much and she's apparently got a lot on her mind. It's passing the time and I'm learning allllll about her in that vein of pouring your guts out to a stranger in a bar. Kaylee is particularly fun in her delivery, "I don't want to talk about Jim..." (the aforementioned fireman whom I didn't bring up) followed by a good ten minutes of nothing but Jim-ness. This pattern followed on most topics that came to her mind like what it means to be an ER nurse (it's 'sucky' but also addicting in the trauma (gunshots) department and by the way she doesn't trust doctors). Kaylee is a real character and I like her.

I'm hoping for a pretty good workout on this ride and I'm getting it. The twisty curvy part of it is through neighborhoods and bike paths so you have to keep the speed down (getting to the rectangle) but once you hit the country you're on your way. I asked the route planner about that after the ride and he told me that he wanted us to depart and arrive back at the animal shelter so folk would learn where it was at. Made sense. I wish I had set a lap counter for when I hit the country but I didn't. The only other annoyance what that my fancy bike computer decided not to record my speed (note to self, I still need to fix that) so thank heavens for the Garmin!

At the upper left part of the rectangle (see below for the course route and understanding of what I mean by rectangle) Kaylee pulls over to tighten a cleat. She's starting to bonk so I offer one of my two Clif bars. She's refusing like it's going to obligate her to have sex with me or something but eventually allows me to give her one and thanks me.

She decides to stop for eats on the way back but I go on figuring it's only seven miles or so to go and I'll grab something to eat there (spaghetti and a hot dog it turns out). Adios Kaylee.

As I'm headed in on the bike path I'm given a real treat! I see my entire family on the path with Layla waiting for me (I headed out all by my lonesome) YAY!!! That made me smile and was completely unexpected.

Arrival

I fully plan to attend this event next year (Kaylee promised that she'd provide the Clif bars on that ride). The weather was great and it's not some soul crushing distance and once I hit the country I felt safe on the roads. If you want to help out some pets and enjoy a nice morning ride check this out.

Layla, ready to go home!

My bling

Rest Day - It's All About Planning Now

About time 'they' posted my classified, sheesh!

My trainer-wife has told me today is a rest day filled with carbo-loading which is why I'm on my third beer at 8am but I'm fine, I'M FINE. When you've honed your body to a razor's edge like I wish I had done you too can stumble around swilling beer at all hours of the day and wonder why you're gaining weight between binges and humping spinners in the wee hours of the morning.

Until then sit your candy butt down and watch the pros, wannabee.

So I'm gabbing with notPonyTail, which is ponyTail's evil corporate avatar, in other words the person who comes out of the locker room after her workout all ponytail-less. I doubt she's actually evil but I'm pretty sure she's capable of it, if the mood's on, anyway one tries not to make eye contact with notPonyTail cuz she's pretty intense when she's all corporate. Definitely not the minion type.

Anyhoo, I'm yakking with notPonyTail in the cafeteria, avoiding eye contact after dutifully delivering my wife her Friday death doughnut (my wife is genetically immune to the horrifying side effects of death doughnuts like weight gain) about our short order cook and how it's not in our best interest to ever let her have a day off. She is a marvel of efficiency and when she's on vaca and they have to call in "Bob from AccountTemps" it's not pretty. The line usually backs up around the building, there's always some sort of riot or altercation and everyone gets just a little... tenser. We were also trying to figure out how to get a tip jar for her but our not-for-profit status complicates that. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

The following motivational sign pretty much sums up how 'prepared' I feel for tomorrow's ride...

Have a great weekend!

I've Done All I Can

Finished up my wife's hellish training program this morning. Now I'm ready for the 40 miler mmhmm.

Not much to say today, still listening to the Em (as his friends call him) and working which I'm increasingly grateful for.

I hope I don't cramp like last time, which is why I'm popping all this Midol.

Local Color

I confess to being a closet basketcase, aren't we all? I'm not exactly cranky when I shove the earbuds in but rave music at 5am will never work for me. Rap will though, go figure. Particularly basketcase rap which is why Eminem is on heavy rotation at the moment I guess. I dial it in and spin.

At first listen I hated this album - it sounded like a bunch of whining to me but all it's done is grow on me with repeated listening. I like more and more of the songs, eg 25 to Life. Whatev, check it out.

I'm out of the saddle on the spinner hammering the pedals wishing it was this easy on a real bike and wondering if I'm ready for this forty miler this Saturday, secretly admitting I'm not.

Sigh. I'm gonna do it anyway.

I've given up on the century this year.

So I'm following my wife's training methodology since she's convinced she knows what she's talking about and I'm reasonably certain she can't injure me. According to her methodology, I'm suppose to ride ten miles a day until Friday, take Friday off and then I'm all set.

You wanna get graphic? We can go the scenic route...

How does he do that? My head spins back while I'm watching ponyTail getting ready to do her thing, looks like a lifting day in ponyVille while sweat pours into my eyes, stinging, clouding my glasses with salt. Nothing but cardio for me, and I'm thinking about the crappy bike ride I had on Sunday.

I should have heeded the omens but nooooooo, dead bike computer, can't find my water bottle, it's mid-afternoon and gale force winds. Sick of it, I bail into this posh neighborhood where I come across my first 'hipster.' Just so you can recognize one a hipster looks like this...

Well OK maybe not exactly like that, first of all it appears that she has some sort of brake cable running down her bike. Hipsters only ride fixies and shun brakes pretty much automatically kicking me out of that club since I want to live.

Second of all this was a dude on a bright orange bicycle. He sort of looked like this.

Only dorkier. He's ambling up some hill and I'm silently swearing for the 7,000th time that I've got to remember my camera because I know you all don't believe I actually see these things. I do.

I pull up next to him and ask, "Are you lost?"

"Huh?"

"Well you're way west of Greenwich Village."

"What?"

I turn right and drop him but I'm thinking, really?! REALLY?! You're trying to pull off that look in Columbus O-H-I-O on a Sunday afternoon? sheesh

Seven and a half miles of suck. Bad ride, bad omens.

Fork was in the road took the psychopath

I blink the sweat out of my eyes and I'm back on the spinner. Time to go.

Missing McBeal

I stole the following (caption and all) from the BikeSnob.

I hope she won

It reminded me of McBeal. I miss McBeal, her presence at the gym. McBeal is gone and not the "screw it all I hate exercise" gone that happens but gone, physically.

I have the pleasure of knowing Ally a bit and she's worth knowing if she'll letcha. But she strikes me as sort of a private person too so, much like her opinion on spandex (she has opinions on everything), knowing her is a privilege, not a right.

Given that, what can I tell you about her?

Well she hums with potential. I'm not even sure she's aware of it but it's all over her... humming. She came up to me all potentially and hummy a few weeks ago while I was pretending to do ABS and said, "I gave notice, my last day is..." whenever that was. I was both happy and sad. I knew I was going to miss her but I also knew she was going after her version of the American dream and she deserves that in spades.

Like that girl in the picture above, she is ready so let's go gosh darn it! And I watched her leave like a bullet from the chamber, like the time intoIt receded into the distance when he passed me on some country road.

Now she's pulling triggers all over the place like some white-bread gangsta BLAM BLAM BLAM. And it's amazing to watch her just doing it, going for it and I'm happy I'm even a little bit part of it. It inspires me. I hope I get to see how this story turns out and I'm sure it will be all Hollywood happy.

In short I hope Ally wins. I'm certain she will.

Speaking of intoIt that maniac just completed LOTOJA riding his bike 206 miles in just over ten hours (10:02:15) and King of the Mountians in the Masters age group (45+). We all have to call him King or Your Majesty now but face facts, he earned it.

Me? I'm trying to get ready for a forty mile bike ride this weekend that I'll just be happy to complete though I'll be trying for more than that. How can I not when I'm surrounded with all this hummy inspiration?