Fa-fa-fa FASHION!

I'm restless this Saturday morning sitting on a couch in the basement and pounding the temperature widget like a browser refresh button. Of course it's 6:30am and about 37 degrees but come on! Bill needs to putter in the garage and prepare his commuter bike for a jaunt around the neighborhood. I'm just quivering with anticipation, and nooooo it's not the six cups of coffee I've already consumed.

I have so much to do! I need a new helmet, that must coordinate with my new bike so I don't look like some sort of dork. Check out the fashion plate on the left for example. DUDE those shoes are so not working with that road rash suit you're wearing! But I've discovered that helmet choices are endless. I could go with the Alien look and maybe shave a second off my commute to work by getting a time trial helmet but it would make my butt look fat - shudders!

What I'm learning is fashion is so very important in being a better, faster biker, who knew?

Hmmmm, apparently you need special Pearl Izumi Tri shorts just to change a tire! I do want to be comfortable when changing out a tube, I wonder what 'the look' will be for cleaning a chain in comfort? I bet I'll look hot in it though.

Gosh! I have so much to learn about fashion and biking, so let the following be a lesson to you:

1. Bill buys a really nice bike of his dreams
2. Bill discovers that his bike is sooooo good looking that now he must make sure he coordinates with his bike and if you know Bill at all when it comes to fashion you realize he's now waaayyyyy in the deep end of the pool
3. As the temperature refuses to climb Bill comes to the realization that the roads are too salty for his pretty, pretty bike and his 'old' bike will have to do
   
4. Bill's accepting donations for his illness but has no intention of getting 'better' and will check himself into Your Bike is Just a Hobby Not a Shrine clinic but will refuse treatment, much like Tiger Woods

There are all sorts of bike etiquette that I didn't even know about. Take this Boy Scout for example:

So ladies if you suddenly find me in a similar position next to you when you're riding your bike, just know I'm merely being helpful, polite and all. Dudes, as always, you're on your own.