I'm here, in the gym making endless adjustments to the spinner I'm about to mount (pros call this "stalling") and pondering my next move in Red Dead (I must get another perfect cougar pelt but cougars scare me and I'm no Travis Kauffman and I scream louder than my horse when one's attacking. it's irritating hearing my wife giggle when it happens.)
Where was I?
Oh yeah, mindset.
Hunter S. Thompson wrote that and when my mind's right I try and live by that credo. I'm in the gym and I can either desultory pedal the spinner (that's called Tuesday's workout) or I can start inching towards getting benefit out of this workout thing.
I bought the ticket, oh yeah and that happened because Lead Trainer (this name will change (honestly this lady deserves a great nickname) as will others when nicknames begin to occur to me) who's young and foolish "invoked" me, demon like, with an email.
Subject: Let Us Help You Get Back In Action!
With a list of bullet items, here's my reply:
I’ve reviewed your list and here’s my reaction to it:
- A goal setting consultation
- Sure! The initial goal should be getting me back in the gym (preferably sober) at all and then increase the frequency
- A fitness assessment
- WAY too depressing!!!
- An equipment orientation
- I think some of the ellipticals might have changed, so OK
- A customized physical activity program (“PEP”)
- Maybe we can start with, “Getting out of the car without going anaerobic” – this might fall into the goal setting thing above ...
- A recommendation for a group exercise class
- There are things group members should not be forced to see – Bill working out is one of them
- The Make a Move program
- Not sure what this program is so as long as I don’t wind up in HR then we can discuss it.
So I'm pissed off because my AirPod's batteries are dead so I have to listen to the swill being pumped in via satellite and if I'm honest it's "OK" anyway I'm sweating and puffing and that feels better than being bitter and just cranking the shaft.
I'm observing others in the gym at this ungodly hour, some guy on an elliptical (ew, but I'll have to get on that hellish thing soon enough) and some lifters. One guy is all about form and when I enter that phase he's the one to get pointers from. The other guy, he's fit but I've been on the bike for twenty minutes and all he's done is talk to Lead Trainer.
Has there been a breakthrough in exercise? Can you simply talk and get healthy? What have I missed during my hiatus?
Maybe I should write a book ... Drink Yourself Sober I'd make a mint with that little "enabler"
As I'm headed into the locker room Lead Trainer asks this dude going in with me if the locker room smells funny, apparently a member reported this to her. She was wise not to ask me but sadly I was in earshot and after I shower and make myself oh-so-pretty I report back to her.
"It smells about 20% alpha and 80% beta at the moment. (I'm guessing she has a much more accurate percentage) mostly talcum powder and vanilla"
She stares at me blankly (I'm an acquired taste) before getting it.
It's a locker room and a male one at that for crying out loud.
Whatev
Due to family stuff the next time I'll be in this gym is a week from today.